


A Day in the Life of a General's Hat

by thewightknight



Series: Kylux prompts and ficlets [32]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Fluff and Crack, Inspired by Art, M/M, established relatioship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-12
Updated: 2017-06-12
Packaged: 2018-11-13 01:36:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11174298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewightknight/pseuds/thewightknight
Summary: Hux's hat isn't where it belongs one morning.





	A Day in the Life of a General's Hat

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [this piece of art by queenstardust](http://queenstardust.tumblr.com/post/161708249976/sunday-evening-stress-relief-doodle-on-the-balcony).

“Shit, Ren, I’m going to be late. I can’t believe I slept through my alarm.”

“Relax, General. You’re always at your post twenty minutes early. You’ll just be getting there when you’re supposed to start today.”

“People will notice.”

“Notice what?”

Giving his head another swipe with his comb, Hux scowled at the mirror. He didn't have time to shower, but his hair wouldn't cooperate. Maybe more gel would keep that one lock down? Screw it. His hat would cover it. Striding out from the ‘fresher, he grabbed his coat from the closet and reached for his hat, but it wasn’t on the hook where it belonged. He hadn’t been that distracted when they’d retired last night. He knew he’d hung it up. Where could it have gotten to? Sweeping the room, he didn’t see it.

“Ren, have you seen my hat?”

“What hat?”

“What hat? What kind of an asinine question is that? I only have one hat. It was right here. I know it was. If this is some idea of a joke, I’ll….” He broke off when he turned around, jaw falling open in shock. Kylo had emerged out from his cocoon of blankets while Hux had been getting dressed and now lay sprawled across the covers, Hux’s hat the only thing saving him from looking a triple-x centerfold.

“Ren, get my hat off your crotch this instant! I can’t believe you … I have to wear that! On my head!”

“So?”

“It has to be cleaned now. I can’t go around all day after you’ve put it there.”

“I don’t see why. Your head’s proximity to my crotch didn’t seem to be an issue last night.”

“I refuse to dignify that with a response. I’ll have to go without today, and you will have it cleaned and return it to me by this evening.”

“You can’t go around without it, Hux. Your hair’s sticking up in the back.”

“I’ll use more product.”

“You’ll look like you glazed your head if you do.”

Application of more gel did make him look shellacked, but he couldn’t back down. He’d never be able to concentrate today if he put that hat on now.

“This evening, Ren.”

Ren had propped himself up against the headboard, Hux’s hat now on his head, canted at a saucy angle.

“Well, if I don’t have to give it back until tonight, I’ll have to see what other mischief I can get up to with it.” He tipped the brim at Hux and winked.

“You will not! I forbid it!”

“If you don’t hurry you really will be late.”

“I’m warning you!”

“Tick tock, general.”

Grunting in annoyance, he stormed out of his own quarters, barely making it to the bridge before his shift started. In the middle of a status report, his datapad beeped, an urgent message signal. _Flight training_ , the title read. When he opened the message, he swore.

“Is something the matter, sir?”

“No, nothing to worry about. Mistakenly flagged, that’s all.”

He’d barely managed to hide the screen in time. If he’d had to explain to Mitaka why someone was sending him a picture of a naked leg sticking up in the air with his hat dangling from the big toe, he’d never let Ren into his bed again.

The next message came just before the start of his morning briefing.

 _Visiting the troops,_ the caption read. His hat sat on a shelf, nestled in between stormtrooper helmets. That was followed by _having lunch._

 _Ren, if you get any soup on my hat I swear you will not sit comfortably for a week._ He could have happily gone the rest of his life not knowing that a cafeteria bowl fit could perfectly inside his upside-down hat.

He nearly spat out his tea at _workout_. Where had Ren found dumbbells that size? Or the materials to make those tiny fake arms. And they’d have to have a talk about the whole “inappropriate use of the Force” thing again. His arms weren’t that noodley, either. The nerve of the man.

 _Still needs to be cleaned_ came fifteen minutes before the end of his shift, and this time Ren had damn well better be using the Force to levitate the hat above his crotch.

Storming into his quarters exactly as he’d stormed out, Hux found himself swept up into a crushing embrace.

“Your hat missed you today.”

“You are impossible. You know that, don’t you?”

“But would you have me any other way?”

Instead of answering, Hux wrapped his hands around Kylo’s neck and pulled him in for a kiss.

“No, I didn’t think so.”


End file.
